Functional Alcoholics and Codependent Wives

If you find yourself a functional alcoholic with a codependent wife, there are rehab programs that include couples counseling. Learn ways to heal all aspects of the alcohol use disorder, including marriage. In some cases, the wife is so consumed with controlling the alcoholic husband’s every move that she becomes obsessed.

  • If the HFA is open to your concerns and is willing to seek help, he or she should also receive an assessment by a therapist or physician about what level of care may be appropriate.
  • Sarah Allen Benton, M.S., LMHC., LPC, is a licensed mental health counselor and author of Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic.
  • When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first.

Alcoholism is quite difficult to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. No matter how much you date a person before marriage, some things are revealed afterward. “Love How To Flush Alcohol from Your Urine? yourself more than you love him,” they say, as though the phrase alone is enough to empower you. But he’s part of you, and you’re part of him, and to love yourself independently while letting him go feels impossible.


One of the major issues that you, as the wife of an alcoholic husband, may face is awkward situations in public or family gatherings. You may come across situations where things go beyond your control, and you might end up in an embarrassing situation. I don’t need to tell you it’s not healthy, not ideal, that you have every right to leave. You know it in your bones; you’re reminded of it every time you ask yourself why you stay. But I’m not going to be like everybody else and tell you you’re wrong.

functional alcoholic husband

You wonder what you’re missing, what they’re missing, whether there’s something better out there or if it’s a classic case of the grass being greener in someone else’s yard. So if you’re in the same situation, married to an otherwise-wonderful man with a terrible problem, I’m talking to you. My husband is pretty close to perfect, the ideal that I dreamed of since I was prancing around in my mother’s lacy nightgowns pretending they were my wedding dress.

Getting Help As a Functional Alcoholic

They can give you tips and suggestions on dealing with an alcoholic husband and the challenges that can arise during the recovery process. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. It’s a natural tendency to try and take control of the alcoholic husband in order to make things right. You don’t need yet another person advising you to pack up his shit; you’re tired of hearing it, which is why you rarely mention it to anyone unless you feel like you’ll break if you don’t. You don’t need someone to tell you you’re stupid for staying with him, because you wonder on a near-daily basis why you’re such a glutton for punishment.

The only challenge that arises at that moment is neither your husband needs your help at that very moment nor you’re a professional counselor. The worst you could do is take the place of a professional and try to look for solutions to ‘cure’ it. You worry that if you leave, he’ll self-destruct, and you love him too much despite what he puts you through. You know that it’s a disease and that the things he does are a symptom, and you don’t want to give up on him because he’s sick. You could give up on it, on him, but you’d also be giving up on the wonderful times in between, the happy memories you’re building that almost make up for the rest. You peek in on the kids with a heavy heart, envious of their innocent and peaceful slumber, wondering for the millionth time why you’re here, whether you’re doing the right thing by staying.

How to Help an Alcoholic Husband Stop Drinking

It can lead to liver disease, pancreatitis, some forms of cancer, brain damage, serious memory loss, and high blood pressure. It also makes someone more likely to die in a car wreck or from murder or suicide. And any alcohol abuse raises the odds of domestic violence, child abuse and neglect, and fetal alcohol syndrome. When you call our helpline, you’ll be connected with a representative who can assist you in finding mental health and addiction treatment resources at any of the Ark Behavioral Health addiction treatment facilities. Not all functioning alcoholic husbands are abusive, but some can be.

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